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Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor

The snow is falling and the magical feeling of Christmas is in the air. If you’re like most people, the stress is rising and the credit cards are maxing out as this beloved holiday rapidly approaches. Wouldn’t it be great to have a stress free, low to no cost Christmas? Or better yet, a stress free, low to no cost life!? The solution to this question lies right within you. Whether you know it or not there is a selfish, sleazy dirt-bag deep down inside each and every one of us just begging to be set free, allowing us to be stingy and cheap. Here are a few simple ideas to help you embrace your inner dirt-bag and start living cheap. One of the greatest times to be cheap is at a restaurant when it comes time for the tip. Any good server always expects a tip. And why shouldn’t they? They have waited on you all night and they deserve it. But who ever said a tip had to be money? Traditionally a tip is 15%, so a nice alternative tipping with your hard earned money could be offering to share 15% of your meal with your server. Try reminding your server that you have spent well over 15% of your night in the restaurant. It is also always a smart idea to completely sleaze your way out of paying for meals. A foolproof way of doing this is going for lunch with a friend and make sure you purposely forget your wallet. Now not only do you get a free meal but you have given your friend an opportunity to show you what a great friend they are. This shows us that being cheap can also benefit others from time to time. Another perfect time for being cheap is at any gift giving event. This includes Christmas, birthdays, Halloween and the list goes one. The key here is re-gifting. We all have those terrible gifts from the past that we have chosen to forget about. Well now it’s time to bring those gems back out and bless someone else with them. Chances are they will still have the tags or packaging on them because you never even bothered opening them. How often do you hear the phrase “nothing in life is free”? Whoever said this was obviously not looking in the right places. Free is everywhere and if you hear the word free then you have to have it because free is 100% profit 100% of the time. When you’re at a restaurant, never hesitate to dump the entire mint basket into your pockets: those mints are free. Or next time you’re at a yard sale, make sure you bring a truck because you can certainly load up that whole table of freebies. This is good for you and the people getting rid of the stuff. Even if you never use your new freebies you can eventually just give them as gifts. Being cheap is a way of life. Feel honoured when someone calls you cheap because you know that your acts of sleazy cheapness are enriching your life and the lives of those around you. Now embrace that dirt-bag and go be cheap!

Sincerely, Joel Ellsay First Year Social Work