Editorial

Why we shouldn’t graduate

Percy N. Hébert - Photo Editor

Wow! If you’re like me you’re wondering where the time went.

Seems like just yesterday we were years away from graduation, facing the daunting task of going to class, writing exams, and managing a few beers at Heroes along the way.

Now, in the blink of an eye, it’s final exams and time to graduate.

What next?

The obvious answer of course is to go out into the real word, find a job, and make a difference, save the world from climate change and Stephen Harper.

Okay, maybe a bit much to ask, let’s just leave it at climate change.

Before you take the plunge, here’s a few words of caution.

Have you seen the real world? Have you noticed what it’s done to your parents? You may not believe the stories they tell, but it’s true, your parents used to be young and hip just like you. Look at them now burdened by kids and other real-world problems.

Have you ever heard your parents say they could hardly wait to get back to work on Monday morning? No.

Getting up early to be on the job by 8 or 9 o’clock doesn’t seem like fun to me. Employers, unlike most profs, take it seriously when you don’t show up.

Is that the kind of reality you want?

I don’t think so.

Here are the top 10 reasons for not graduating.

1. You are still looking for your virginity that you lost in first year. You can’t remember if it was the library, the N parking lot, or the washroom in the CAC, but you’re not leaving town without it. The scary part is that your room-mate has been smiling ever since.

2. You’re still searching for the meaning of life, and fourth-year philosophy was no help at all.

3. Your girlfriend says you need counseling and has agreed that Psychology 101 will do.

4. You still haven’t caught up on sleep. One more year with a full course load should about do it!

5. Thirsty Thursdays at Heroes. Where else in town can you get plastered and find the man of your life for less than $40? P.S. I’m still available.

6. You’ve heard that the university president is quite the cougar and you think you can show her a thing or two about re-alignment.

7. Where else can you wear your pants at half-mast, or proudly display a tramp stamp and a whale tail?

8. You know you can’t live without Mr. Advice Guy. It may be tough love, but it’s real love.

9. Your boyfriend said he’d marry you once you graduated.

10. You need another student loan to cover next year’s trip to Mexico.